About Monica
I’m Monica Remis, founder of Holding the Light. I am an end-of-life doula, values-based planning specialist, and caregiver on California’s Central Coast, the ancestral lands of the northern bands of the Chumash people.
I guide individuals, families, and care communities in having meaningful, values-based conversations about mortality—so that life can be lived with greater clarity, connection, and intention.
My work sits at the intersection of practical preparation and deeply human reflection, supporting people in aligning their choices, care, and communication with what matters most.
How This Work Found Me
The support I offer has been a lifetime in the making, born from a journey filled with deep love and great loss. This roll started coming more clearly into focus and became a burning passion after the loss of my husband. I experienced firsthand how challenging it can be to navigate serious illness and death without clear conversations, shared understanding, and aligned support.
There were moments of uncertainty, and many things went unsaid. Medical teams struggled to have conversations honest enough to reach my husband’s deep-seated denial, which made connection even harder in the absence of openness about what was coming.
That experience changed me. It led me to this work—not only to guide others through the practical realities of end-of-life, but also to create space for the conversations that allow us to meet these moments with presence, honesty, and care.
A Different Way of Relating to Mortality
In our culture, conversations about death are often avoided until they become unavoidable. Decisions are often made in moments of stress, leaving death seen as a failure or purely a medical event. I hope to shine a light on mortality, normalizing these conversations so that death can be recognized as the incredible experience it truly is—one rivaled only by the miracle of birth. I deeply believe that when we are willing to turn toward mortality earlier, with reverence and awe, it can change how we live.
Open and honest conversations soften fear, clarify what matters, deepen connection, and bring a perspective of gratitude that is often missing in the busyness of everyday life.
This work is not about focusing on death. It is about allowing an awareness of mortality to guide how we live, so that our choices, relationships, and care reflect what is most meaningful to us.
My Approach
At the center of my work is a framework I’ve developed called the:
Values & Care Priorities Alignment Process.
A structured, compassionate approach to helping individuals, families, and care teams:
Clarify values and priorities
Explore what quality of life truly means
Engage in meaningful, honest conversations
Align care decisions with what matters most
This process forms the foundation of my program,
Living & Leaving with Grace
Training & Background
I am a trained end-of-life doula and conscious dying coach through the Conscious Dying Institute, and a hospice volunteer with Hospice of San Luis Obispo County. I have been working independently as a personal in-home caregiver on and off for much of my adult life.
My background also includes work as a certified Whole Foods Nutritional Counselor and a practitioner of Jin Shin Do® Bodymind Acupressure®, which informs my holistic, person-centered approach to care, communication and support.
Invitation
I believe that when we are supported in turning toward these conversations—rather than away from them—we create the possibility for a different experience of both living and dying.
One that is more aligned, more connected, more intentional.
